Information and Services for people who use domestic
and family violence

Many people who use abuse, violence or control in relationships feel out of control.
They feel they couldn’t stop, or had no choice. That the other person just pushed and pushed
them and if they’d only shut up she wouldn’t have got hurt.

Men who use violence and control in relationship often say they did not intend to hurt the other person,
and feel sorry for what they have done.

Sometimes people who use violence in relationships have grown up with violence. Their father or mother
may have used physical or verbal violence. These people sometimes feel lost or unsure and say they don’t
know how to change, or do things differently.

If you think you may have used violence, control or abuse in relationships with girl/boy friend or family
member have a think about these questions, have you:

• restricted his/her contact with other people?   
• become agro if she/he doesn’t agree with you and do as you say? 
• physically harmed your partner (eg. hit, slap, push) ? 
• damaged your partner’s personal belongings? 
• deliberately hurt your partner’s pets? 
• forcefully or repeatedly told them what to wear, eat, do? 
• belittled and said nasty, derogatory things including "put downs" or "name calling"?
• ever threatened the other person eg: “I’ll throw your stuff out”,  “if you don’t...I’ll hit you”
  “if you don’t have sex now, I’ll find another woman”
• followed or checked up on them, phoned them regularly and told yourself you do this because
  you care about/love them?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you can choose to turn your relationship into
a healthier and more respectful one.

You may feel that you have no other choice. You do.

You can choose the way to treat others and the way you behave, including when you are angry or hurt.
You can take responsibility for your choices.

If you choose to take responsibility your behaviour, for the hurt and abuse you have done or want to
know more about how to do this, give YFS a call on 3826 1500 to talk with a counsellor.

You can also speak with a counsellor on a confidential mens domestic violence helpline - 1800 600 636.

What programs do we run?