Information and services for people who have experienced
domestic and family violence

Most people who experience abuse in domestic relationships are women. Some men experience abuse
and these men often feel ashamed to come forward to seek support and help. Violence and abuse does occur
in same sex relationships. The YFS Domestic and Family Violence service can support all of these people.

Warning signs of an abusive relationship

You may be in an abusive relationship when your partner:

• tells you who you can have as friends and controls when you can see them
• wants to know where you have been and who you have been with
• gets jealous when you talk to someone else including family members
• constantly puts you down and insults you so you feel worthless
• forces you to have sex
• physically and emotionally hurts you
• threatens and frightens you
• tells you what you should and shouldn’t wear and/or eat
• pressures or forces you into using illegal drugs, alcohol and/or cigarettes

If you are being abused you may feel:

• things are your fault eg: feeling that you are responsible for arguments or violence
• angry, sad, isolated and lonely
• like you can’t talk to family or friends 
• afraid that you will get hurt if you tell someone about your problem/s

   

Within a relationship, disagreements and arguments do occur and this is normal. Both people should be able to put forward their different points of view or concerns and discuss them together. Often arguments involve raised voices and feelings of anger or frustration. When one person feels fearful, intimidated or unsure of how the other person may behave, this may be a sign that the relationship is unhealthy.

People who have lived in domestic violence situations do not enter into a relationship believing that it will become violent. For many women, physical and sexual violence does not begin until a year or so into a relationship, often during pregnancy. Controlling and dominating behaviour is sometimes seen as jealousy, and often considered a compliment to the woman, like a sign of his love for her.

Unfortunately lots of girls and women feel trapped in abusive relationships, experiencing emotional and physical abuse at the hands of their partners.